This guy is sitting in a bar very drunk. He asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender tells him to go down the hall and take a right.

Shortly thereafter, everyone hears this loud scream from the bathroom. A few minutes go by, and another loud scream comes from the bathroom. This time the bartender goes down the hall to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.

The bartender opens the door and asks, "What is all the screaming about? You are scaring all my customer's away."

The drunk says, "I'm sitting on the toilet, and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles!"

With that, the bartender looks in and says, "No wonder. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"