JOKES
I have been sending and receiving jokes through email for about as long as I've been on the Internet - almost 5 years. I've kept many of the ones I consider to be funny and have decided to post the jokes on my webpage for people to download instead of continuously emailing them back and forth.
Some of the jokes below may be offensive to some readers. I expect that if you are offended by the joke that you stop reading it and move on. I consider myself to be a decent judge of what is slightly offensive as compared to just downright crude. For the most part, there is no "crude" stuff on this page. I would prefer not to receive email saying you find a joke offensive because I probably didn't if I put it up on this page and I probably won't take it down at your request either (sorry).
If you have any jokes you feel would fit amongst the type of jokes that appear here, feel free to
email them to me. If they don't end up appearing here, you can bet one of the following things happened: I never got the email, I got the email but have been just too busy to get around to adding the joke, it was too crude, but most likely if I didn't add it, I didn't find it funny!
The collection below contains some of the jokes I've found funny over the last few years. I hope you get a laugh out of them as I have. 
A
Actual Advertisements
Actual Answering Machine Messages
Actual Church Bulletins and Service Bloopers
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Adam and Eve
African King
Aircraft Registration
Airline Software Engineers
Alligator Shoes
Almost the Same
American Soldier
Analyze Personality
Antique Rat
Around the Corner
Arrogant Americans
Astrology Adam Sandler Style
Auld Lang Syne
B
Bad Breath
Bad News / Terrible News
Bad Puns and Groaners
Ballad of the Y2K
Bedside Practice
Before College
Being Overcharged
Benefits of Older Chicks
Bible Riddles
Black Balls
Black Box
Blonde Jersey Wearer
Book Titles
Budget Cuts and Reorganization
Build a Wall
Bull and the Pheasant
Bumper Stickers
Bunny and Snake
Buyer Beware
C
Calling for Technical Support
Camels
Caught Red Handed
Caught Sleeping
CEO Advice
Change of Career
Cheating Husband
Chicken or the Egg
Childhood Operations
Children's Deep Thoughts
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Clinton Jogging
Cockroach at the Door
Coffee
College Letter to Dad
Coming
Company Mergers
Comparison Between Men and Women
Computer Problem Report Form
Condom Week Slogans
Contraceptive 98
Costume Party
Course Evaluations
Cowboy Ratings
Crunch
D
Daddy Longlegs
Dams in Michigan
Day at the Races
Dear Jenny
Deep Thoughts
DENSA IQ Test
Dictionary of Dating
Dilbert's Words of Wisdom
Dildo Salesman
Dirty Thanksgiving Sayings
Dish Best Served Cold
Doctor's Appointment
Don't Get Mad, Get Even
Dr. Seuss' Jokes
Dr. Seuss' Purity Test
Dr. Seuss' Technical Manuals
Dr. Seuss' The New Testament
Dr. Seuss' Version of President Clinton's Deposition
Dressing Up
E
Elevator Transformation
Emoticons with a Twist
Employment Jargon
Engineer Dies
Estrogen and Testosterone
Excerpts from Court Transcripts
Excerpts from Letters sent to Landlords
F
Facts about Men
Falling Down
Final Confessions
Fishing is Better than Making Love
Forgetfulness
Fox' New President
Foxy Lady
Freudian Slip
From the Trees
G
Getting Checked Out
Getting Drunk
God Given Abilities
Good Reproducer
Great Jokes for Kids
H
Hallowe'en Jokes
Helpful Tips to make Life Simpler
Herd of Buffalo
History of Giving the Finger
History of Teaching Math
Horoscope Names
Horoscopes
Horoscopes in Plainspeak
Horse and Chicken
How they Do It
How to Lose Weight with Beer
Husbands
I
If a Klingon was on your Software Team
If Men Really Ruled the World
If Women had a Penis
I'm Glad I'm a Man/Woman
I'm Sam
Independent Princess
Insight of a Child
Irish Specimen
IRS is like Microsoft
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
It's Better in Cider
It's my Hen
J
Jeepers Creepers
Jesus Heals
Just Perfect
K
L
Lady from Maine
Laughing Baby
Lawyer One Liners
LeRoy
Leroy's Ebonics Test
Letters to Loved Ones
Letter to a Redneck Son
Lightbulb Astrology
Limericks
Limp
Limp in my Hand
Lineup for Oranges
Little Johnny Jokes
Looking for Mr. Right
Lost her Purse
M
Made in Canada
Management Quotes
Marv Albert Theme Song
Maxims for the Internet Age
Men are like...
Models in Plane Crash
Modern Dating Rituals
Mother of Six
MYASS
My Grandson
My Husband works for Microsoft
N
Nerds in Season
New Account
New American Pie
New Engineering Graduates
New Temperature Conversion Chart
Night Before Christmas
NOTICE
O
OJ and the Bronco
Oldest Profession
One Wish Genie
Only thing left Untaxed
Optimism
Ordering a Quickie
Out of the Mouths of Babes
P
Perfect Dump
Period
Personality Test
Personality Test #2
Personality Test #3
Pickup Lines
Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
Pilot
Political Systems
Politically Correct Terminology
Pope and the Queen
Power of a Union
Pregnant Woman
Priest
Princess Rules
Promotions
Public Transportation
Punker
Q
Quick Thinking Canadian
Quotes
Quotes about Beer
R
Randy the Rooster
Really Bad Puns
Rejected Hallmark Cards
Rejection Lines
Relationship Agreement
Religions of the World
Religious Jokes
Remember When
Restroom Policy
Revised Toddler Property Laws
Ribbed Condoms
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Rudolf the Red
Rules for Work
S
Salvation
Santa - A Case Study
Science vs Nature
Scooby
Second Opinion
Separation of Quebec
Seven Most Important Men
She was only the...
Shooting Blanks
Signs of AOL Addiction
Signs You've Hired the Wrong Magician
Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know
Sisters Logical and Mathematical
Sleeping Beauty
Slogans that Never Caught On
Slow Golf Game
Snores too Loudly
Some Good Short Jokes
Some Tag Lines
Speech that Wasn't
Stages of Drunkenness
Star Wars Xmas
Stranded on a Desert Island
Student Bloopers
Stupid Things Said by Lawyers
T
Talented Frog
Teacher
Ten Cents
Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming
Ten Minutes Late
Terminology or New Words
The Dog's Job
Their Men
Things Women Should Know by the Time They're 30
Think About It
Think You've Had a Bad Day?
Three Blondes Die
Three Women Escaped from Prison
Time Sheets
Today's Stock Market
Top 10 Reasons to Live in...
Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Judge
Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to your Pregnant Wife
Turner Brown
Two Deaf Parents
U
Understand
Upturn
Useful Work Phrases
Useless Facts about Drinking
US Moving Rating System
V
Various Computer Viruses
Vegas Cab Ride
Voice from Above
Voodoo Dick
W
Ways Men Fail in Bed
Wedding Night
Week of Tech Support
Well Known Adages
What I Saw
What the 98 in Windows 98 Means
What the Org Chart Doesn't Tell You
Why the Internet is like a Penis
Wife Won't Say
Wisdom of the Ages
Woman
World According to Steven Wright
Wrong Approach
X
Y
Y2K Bug
Yes Men
You Might be an Engineer if...
Z
Zachary
Number
30 Signs Technology has Taken Over Your Life
100 People

This page last updated 26 April 1999.

