JOKES

I have been sending and receiving jokes through email for about as long as I've been on the Internet - almost 5 years. I've kept many of the ones I consider to be funny and have decided to post the jokes on my webpage for people to download instead of continuously emailing them back and forth.

Some of the jokes below may be offensive to some readers. I expect that if you are offended by the joke that you stop reading it and move on. I consider myself to be a decent judge of what is slightly offensive as compared to just downright crude. For the most part, there is no "crude" stuff on this page. I would prefer not to receive email saying you find a joke offensive because I probably didn't if I put it up on this page and I probably won't take it down at your request either (sorry).

If you have any jokes you feel would fit amongst the type of jokes that appear here, feel free to email them to me. If they don't end up appearing here, you can bet one of the following things happened: I never got the email, I got the email but have been just too busy to get around to adding the joke, it was too crude, but most likely if I didn't add it, I didn't find it funny!

The collection below contains some of the jokes I've found funny over the last few years. I hope you get a laugh out of them as I have.

 

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

#

A

Actual Advertisements

Actual Answering Machine Messages

Actual Church Bulletins and Service Bloopers

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Adam and Eve

African King

Aircraft Registration

Airline Software Engineers

Alligator Shoes

Almost the Same

American Soldier

Analyze Personality

Antique Rat

Around the Corner

Arrogant Americans

Astrology Adam Sandler Style

Auld Lang Syne

 

B

Bad Breath

Bad News / Terrible News

Bad Puns and Groaners

Ballad of the Y2K

Bedside Practice

Before College

Being Overcharged

Benefits of Older Chicks

Bible Riddles

Black Balls

Black Box

Blonde Jersey Wearer

Book Titles

Budget Cuts and Reorganization

Build a Wall

Bull and the Pheasant

Bumper Stickers

Bunny and Snake

Buyer Beware

 

C

Calling for Technical Support

Camels

Caught Red Handed

Caught Sleeping

CEO Advice

Change of Career

Cheating Husband

Chicken or the Egg

Childhood Operations

Children's Deep Thoughts

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Clinton Jogging

Cockroach at the Door

Coffee

College Letter to Dad

Coming

Company Mergers

Comparison Between Men and Women

Computer Problem Report Form

Condom Week Slogans

Contraceptive 98

Costume Party

Course Evaluations

Cowboy Ratings

Crunch

 

D

Daddy Longlegs

Dams in Michigan

Day at the Races

Dear Jenny

Deep Thoughts

DENSA IQ Test

Dictionary of Dating

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

Dildo Salesman

Dirty Thanksgiving Sayings

Dish Best Served Cold

Doctor's Appointment

Don't Get Mad, Get Even

Dr. Seuss' Jokes

Dr. Seuss' Purity Test

Dr. Seuss' Technical Manuals

Dr. Seuss' The New Testament

Dr. Seuss' Version of President Clinton's Deposition

Dressing Up

 

E

Elevator Transformation

Emoticons with a Twist

Employment Jargon

Engineer Dies

Estrogen and Testosterone

Excerpts from Court Transcripts

Excerpts from Letters sent to Landlords

 

F

Facts about Men

Falling Down

Final Confessions

Fishing is Better than Making Love

Forgetfulness

Fox' New President

Foxy Lady

Freudian Slip

From the Trees

 

G

Getting Checked Out

Getting Drunk

God Given Abilities

Good Reproducer

Great Jokes for Kids

 

H

Hallowe'en Jokes

Helpful Tips to make Life Simpler

Herd of Buffalo

History of Giving the Finger

History of Teaching Math

Horoscope Names

Horoscopes

Horoscopes in Plainspeak

Horse and Chicken

How they Do It

How to Lose Weight with Beer

Husbands

 

I

If a Klingon was on your Software Team

If Men Really Ruled the World

If Women had a Penis

I'm Glad I'm a Man/Woman

I'm Sam

Independent Princess

Insight of a Child

Irish Specimen

IRS is like Microsoft

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

It's Better in Cider

It's my Hen

 

J

Jeepers Creepers

Jesus Heals

Just Perfect

 

K

 

 

L

Lady from Maine

Laughing Baby

Lawyer One Liners

LeRoy

Leroy's Ebonics Test

Letters to Loved Ones

Letter to a Redneck Son

Lightbulb Astrology

Limericks

Limp

Limp in my Hand

Lineup for Oranges

Little Johnny Jokes

Looking for Mr. Right

Lost her Purse

 

M

Made in Canada

Management Quotes

Marv Albert Theme Song

Maxims for the Internet Age

Men are like...

Models in Plane Crash

Modern Dating Rituals

Mother of Six

MYASS

My Grandson

My Husband works for Microsoft

 

N

Nerds in Season

New Account

New American Pie

New Engineering Graduates

New Temperature Conversion Chart

Night Before Christmas

NOTICE

 

O

OJ and the Bronco

Oldest Profession

One Wish Genie

Only thing left Untaxed

Optimism

Ordering a Quickie

Out of the Mouths of Babes

 

P

Perfect Dump

Period

Personality Test

Personality Test #2

Personality Test #3

Pickup Lines

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

Pilot

Political Systems

Politically Correct Terminology

Pope and the Queen

Power of a Union

Pregnant Woman

Priest

Princess Rules

Promotions

Public Transportation

Punker

 

Q

Quick Thinking Canadian

Quotes

Quotes about Beer

 

R

Randy the Rooster

Really Bad Puns

Rejected Hallmark Cards

Rejection Lines

Relationship Agreement

Religions of the World

Religious Jokes

Remember When

Restroom Policy

Revised Toddler Property Laws

Ribbed Condoms

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rudolf the Red

Rules for Work

 

S

Salvation

Santa - A Case Study

Science vs Nature

Scooby

Second Opinion

Separation of Quebec

Seven Most Important Men

She was only the...

Shooting Blanks

Signs of AOL Addiction

Signs You've Hired the Wrong Magician

Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know

Sisters Logical and Mathematical

Sleeping Beauty

Slogans that Never Caught On

Slow Golf Game

Snores too Loudly

Some Good Short Jokes

Some Tag Lines

Speech that Wasn't

Stages of Drunkenness

Star Wars Xmas

Stranded on a Desert Island

Student Bloopers

Stupid Things Said by Lawyers

 

T

Talented Frog

Teacher

Ten Cents

Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming

Ten Minutes Late

Terminology or New Words

The Dog's Job

Their Men

Things Women Should Know by the Time They're 30

Think About It

Think You've Had a Bad Day?

Three Blondes Die

Three Women Escaped from Prison

Time Sheets

Today's Stock Market

Top 10 Reasons to Live in...

Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Judge

Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to your Pregnant Wife

Turner Brown

Two Deaf Parents

 

U

Understand

Upturn

Useful Work Phrases

Useless Facts about Drinking

US Moving Rating System

 

V

Various Computer Viruses

Vegas Cab Ride

Voice from Above

Voodoo Dick

 

W

Ways Men Fail in Bed

Wedding Night

Week of Tech Support

Well Known Adages

What I Saw

What the 98 in Windows 98 Means

What the Org Chart Doesn't Tell You

Why the Internet is like a Penis

Wife Won't Say

Wisdom of the Ages

Woman

World According to Steven Wright

Wrong Approach

 

X

 

 

Y

Y2K Bug

Yes Men

You Might be an Engineer if...

 

Z

Zachary

 

Number

30 Signs Technology has Taken Over Your Life

100 People

This page last updated 26 April 1999.

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